I am so glad that you know me like the back of your hand...and i am so glad that you love me as much as you do.  It's not that college changed me...i changed before i got here...you can ask jess.  And the change all started when I made God 2nd or 3rd priority in my life.  And don't worry, me and josh aren't giving up.  We are trying to work this out together...just not necessarily as a couple. We still talk and we plan on seeing each other for a little bit on sunday to talk face to face.  And I do love him....very much...but something that scares me is that i was never in love.  I know I look like I was in love with him....but I wasn't.  I wish I could explain.  And I want to make sure I give myself enough time to see if I fall in love with him....but right now i need to focus on me and my relationship with God because it has been damaged and it needs some serious repair.  It's kinda like this....How am I supposed to submit myself to josh and a relationship when I can't submit to God first.  I can't wait to see you tonight...and go dancing...and talk...although I'm not going to stay for very long cause i have a long day of classes on tomorrow...but I can't wait to see you.  I love you girl.   Please pray for me and for josh.